How can your success last a lifetime?

Hello fearless leader!

Like you, I know as much about change and failure as I do about success. I did not start my career aspiring to run a consulting company, nor did I plan to be a parent or serve my community at large. What I have learned, and what I have lived in my journey has given me a perspective not to just focus on playing to my strengths, but on using changes, challenges, stressors (even failures) as a lever for my greatest results.

Don’t you sometimes feel that you could have handled a situation better? Or that you could achieve so much more if you could just be more focussed? I know I do.

And guess what? Science confirms what we feel. That we can reset our thinking, our patterns, and our reactions of a lifetime. Imagine giving a different (and better) response the next time your teenager throws you an emotional curveball, or the next time your team member misses a deadline yet again. Imagine suddenly having a breakthrough about that issue you and your spouse have been arguing about since eternity! Just imagine it! It’s possible.

HOW?

By CHANGING WHAT WE DO. By resetting our internal GPS. By re-wiring our thinking. To quote Professor Charles O’Reilly, Stanford Graduate School of Business, “Staying competitive, then, means changing what you’re doing.”

Our ability to change what we are doing means developing the intellectual (IQ) and emotional (EQ) dexterity while further developing our spiritual thinking SQ). While IQ and EQ are critical for daily functioning, it is SQ that offers us the necessary respite we need in this crazy world.

Improving IQ- Is it possible?

A question I often hear is – is it even possible to improve my IQ? Isn’t that something I am born with or something that develops naturally? Not really.

Our IQ can change with time. Multiple studies have proved that we can become smarter. However, here is an interesting thing I’d like to share. In most of these studies, the IQ was not improved by making people more intelligent but rather by enabling them to function better.

One way I like to challenge my brain to think differently about things and think about different things is ‘Reading’ – Try new types of books that you usually don’t read. Love fiction? Try an autobiography. Love art? Read something on science. Get the drift? I often pick up my daughter’s medical books and just browse through. I don’t get most of it, but it’s fun and makes me think of things I wouldn’t usually.  

But what if you don’t like reading or don’t have the time? Try and make some. Just 10 minutes every day. On your way to work in the train/ bus. Just before sleeping. Or soon after waking. During lunch. Somehow. It’s an investment you will grow to love.

And what about my EQ?

Remember that test some websites make you take to prove you aren’t a robot? Perhaps our EQ wouldn’t have mattered if were indeed robots. But we aren’t. We are human. And as humans, we are driven by our emotions. Some of us are better at managing (controlling) our emotions, and some of us aren’t. And even in the former group, perhaps we manage emotions well about half the time.

How can we get better at it?

Cut yourself some slack – I never try to be perfect. We perform so many roles every day. We are so many different persons to people around us. Being human, we are bound to slip and let our emotions get the better of us. Don’t berate yourself or be too critical. Forgive and come back to liking yourself quickly. We gain nothing by continuing to beat ourselves up.

Admit when you go wrong. Openly & honestly.

Be generous – Have the courage to be more giving! Your generosity will attract it from people around you. You will land up creating an environment where people around you feel like they are part of your inner circle. Generously and freely sharing your thoughts, know-how, and ideas will go a long way in creating a feeling of abundance around you.

The Ultimate Intelligence – The Spiritual Quotient

I believe if we improve our intellectual and emotional selves, our spiritual self isn’t far behind.

Spirituality is simple – being with self, more.

I have experimented with these ideas and have seen good results – build blank time into my day, some happiness time, relaxation time, me- time, call it anything.

What if we all talk about it? Most communications between us and our significant relationships usually revolve around errands, deadlines, tasks, and personal problems. Let’s try and also talk about – what makes us tick, what makes us happy, what makes us laugh? Spirituality means different things to different people. Open conversations will open your mind to the soothing vastness of this universe.

For leaders – Perform a random act of kindness each day by reaching out to someone outside your team, outside your usual network and championing their work. Perform a random act of kindness by helping someone who put in their best effort and failed, by helping them find the solution amidst the problem.

Why not meditate together?

The circle of intellectual growth, emotional maturing and self-love goes round and round to create an amazing vortex of happiness. Try it out! You will love the ride.